What is polygamy? In this day and age and location, no one is referring to marrying multiple people, just not being loyal to one person.
So I asked myself:
Are we intended by nature to be loyal to one person?
What is loyalty?
When does a man or a woman realize that they must have only one partner at any given point of time?
Are men incapable of monogamy?
Isn't it man's nature to hunt and conquer?
Is the weaker anatomy of women a natural hindrance put in place to deter population explosion?
Are women given the ability to birth and care to prevent them from leaving immediately after child birth to make other nests?
Is a moral cloak thrown on all of this to ensure that our species propagates according to the grand plan?
We'll never know, will we?
But what does our heart or nether region say about this?
When does the lecture about the institution of marriage and its rules evaporate? Is it when the fucking hot excuse for a colleague smiles at you? Or when you catch a glimpse of a perfect pair of hooters? When do the rules diminish in magnitude and when does the dick take over?
And if these are purely physical reactions, if the 'honey-it-didnt-mean-anything-it-was-just-a-one-off-thing' is to be believed; then why waste expensive lawyers, beautiful children, exquisite house, thousands of dollars and a lifetime of tears on the temporary ramifications of a purely physical organ?
Now women, thats a whole different ball game. The fantasies are all up there...it starts in the mind, develops in the heart (or atleast pretends to) and ends up in the vajayjay. It is the more dangerous kind of reaction. While some women are rational enough to keep it physical, most do not have that kind of control over all three facets of their sexuality. When a woman "cheats", its more dangerous than a man's indiscretions. This could be the reason, society sees it differently. But when a man sleeps around, it is most often a problem because the woman he is married or committed to thinks he is cheating on the same grounds as she would.
Many couples have open marriages now a days. Well, that's a sham if there was one. Most post modern feminists also need that ring and those kids playing inside the picket fence...but why confuse it with the need for fidelity? And what is the whole deal with fidelity that is so silly on paper, but works like a charm on the field?
I am definitely not the first to wonder why people should remain loyal and I most definitely will not be the last. But how does everyone who starts questioning it end up in the same rabbit hole of personal doom?
Here are the steps that lead to nowhere:
1. Mid life crisis
2. Boredom with spouse
3. Looking at options
4. Thinking that a threeway is not cheating because you invited your spouse to the playdate
5. Thinking that wanting something different from spousy here should not imply cheating, right? As long as you have talked it through and understand the rules?
6. Thinking you are way too smart to fall into a trap
7. Going the way every couple that passed step number 2 went - thinking of a threesome, thinking of swinging, a bad orgy that you cannot erase from your memory and one spouse getting more action on the side.
8. Falling in to the trap
And suddenly, it is like, the world you thought you made with your own rules has its own rules. Suddenly, the world has families and mothers and children and divorces. The pretty happy go lucky bang everyone paradise now looks like an impossible dream.
It was so simple in concept...where did you go so fucking wrong? Why does the fact that your son isn't actually your real son bother you so much? If you didnt live by the rules of suburbia when all this started, why start now?
Many have been there before and perished, just the way you are right now. You can see everything going away, just because of one temptation. If everything is so fucking shattered by one small itsy bitsy temptation of getting a boner or giving one, what are we fighting to protect so badly? Is he really yours to play with for life? Is she always going to be there when you come home?
Well I know one thing that will happen if this "moral depravity" is allowed, day time soaps and sunday nights will be erased from television.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Sunday, December 13, 2009
India
It is just a little weird when people ask me why oh why would you want to leave this wonderful country and go back to a country where:
Beggars fill the streets
Pollution fills the lungs
Men shove and jostle you in lines
Rich people are still succumbing to dengue fever
Water borne diseases are everywhere...
Now, I am not saying there is no difference, because if that were true, I would like living here. But the problems are everywhere...I cannot quit on something because it has problems.
Yes for some USA is a god sent release from micro managing parents, annoying inlaws and lower standard of living. But if that was the reason you live 10000 miles, why fake a connection with a place you don't really like to begin with? Why call India once a week, wear a saree on Diwali, make ready made samosas, watch cricket on the internet, arrange bollywood themed parties, talk about how corrupt Indian politicians are, wonder why India can't have such clean streets and hatch detailed plans about what US inspired business you will start once you go back.
And when exactly is that? When US doesn't need you anymore? When you get the pink slip? When you realize that India has huddled masses that will make for a great market for your company? When? And if and when you do go back, let us see how many of those entrepreneurial ventures you will start or even take part in. Let us see how many non profits you will voulnteer for if it is not needed in a college application.
Why would anyone want to live in a place where they cannot be themselves? And you don't become yourself just by changing your location. If you were waiting to come to the US so you could wear trendy clothes, go drinking at any time, smoke pot and swing, then there is something so deeply wrong with that, I wouldn't want to comment without consulting your shrink.
So do me a favour, if you love living here, continue, God knows India doesn't need more skeptic cynics. And when you finally get thrown out and only India will take you back, do not invite me to your thanksgiving dinner.
Beggars fill the streets
Pollution fills the lungs
Men shove and jostle you in lines
Rich people are still succumbing to dengue fever
Water borne diseases are everywhere...
Now, I am not saying there is no difference, because if that were true, I would like living here. But the problems are everywhere...I cannot quit on something because it has problems.
Yes for some USA is a god sent release from micro managing parents, annoying inlaws and lower standard of living. But if that was the reason you live 10000 miles, why fake a connection with a place you don't really like to begin with? Why call India once a week, wear a saree on Diwali, make ready made samosas, watch cricket on the internet, arrange bollywood themed parties, talk about how corrupt Indian politicians are, wonder why India can't have such clean streets and hatch detailed plans about what US inspired business you will start once you go back.
And when exactly is that? When US doesn't need you anymore? When you get the pink slip? When you realize that India has huddled masses that will make for a great market for your company? When? And if and when you do go back, let us see how many of those entrepreneurial ventures you will start or even take part in. Let us see how many non profits you will voulnteer for if it is not needed in a college application.
Why would anyone want to live in a place where they cannot be themselves? And you don't become yourself just by changing your location. If you were waiting to come to the US so you could wear trendy clothes, go drinking at any time, smoke pot and swing, then there is something so deeply wrong with that, I wouldn't want to comment without consulting your shrink.
So do me a favour, if you love living here, continue, God knows India doesn't need more skeptic cynics. And when you finally get thrown out and only India will take you back, do not invite me to your thanksgiving dinner.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Going Gaga in Lala
Lady Gaga is 23 and she is talking about bad romance. heck, when I was 23, I didn't even know there were different kinds of romances. So much talent in such a small neat bizarre package.
The only person who trumps her in bizarreness is Adam Lambert. Both very comfortable with discussing their sexuality on TV.
You may think the taboos are reduced. But when it comes to music, people are not racist, sexist or homophobes. People love african american musicians, folk singers, nusrat fateh ali khan, madonna, shakira, rihanna, george micheal, etc.
But in real life, they fear the black, queers, muslims and sexual women.
So if you think this open display of sexuality will get people to accept things that they are fundamentally against, think again.
Ironically, they like the talent alone and in supporting the talent they end up supporting the person behind the talent.
Even if some of these are gimmicks, we live in a world where it has become relatively easier to talk about it at least if you are famous. Of course there is a long way to go before nobody's with absolutely zero fashion sense can pull off such things.
Thankfully, people are more accepting today of ugliness than they were. Exhibit A: Robert Pattinson.
The only person who trumps her in bizarreness is Adam Lambert. Both very comfortable with discussing their sexuality on TV.
You may think the taboos are reduced. But when it comes to music, people are not racist, sexist or homophobes. People love african american musicians, folk singers, nusrat fateh ali khan, madonna, shakira, rihanna, george micheal, etc.
But in real life, they fear the black, queers, muslims and sexual women.
So if you think this open display of sexuality will get people to accept things that they are fundamentally against, think again.
Ironically, they like the talent alone and in supporting the talent they end up supporting the person behind the talent.
Even if some of these are gimmicks, we live in a world where it has become relatively easier to talk about it at least if you are famous. Of course there is a long way to go before nobody's with absolutely zero fashion sense can pull off such things.
Thankfully, people are more accepting today of ugliness than they were. Exhibit A: Robert Pattinson.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
How Google Docs is green
Conservation is a good thing. If you don't believe this, close the browser immediately.
In my need to be more green, I quit using paper around the time I finished studying. I tried to email everything that otherwise would get printed, used Notepad to make rough notes, used my PDA's drawing tool to make sketches of ideas and managed to get through without using much stationery.
Now giving up stationery is easy. But as a geek, not buying the latest computer is hard. My computer ran ok. It was too slow for my liking and the wide screen glossy models would call out to me everytime I crossed a computer shop. Some manufacturers have to add an 8% tax on the price of an electronic item because they cannot be recycled and lead to e-waste. Physically this electronic waste adds up to so much junk that would be better off filling landfills. But instead, they circulate back into our lives through the air and water because some unknowing lad in a shanty is boiling the plastic to get to the copper wiring and ends up with lead fumes from the paint lining his lungs.
So I thought about what I could do about the one slow computer, one broken computer and one out of date PDA. I installed ubuntu on the slow one, use the broken one as a stand-by because it has lots of licensed marketing software and the PDA is linked to my wi-fi so I don't have to boot everytime I need to check mail.
Which is when I started thinking about the non-immediate e-trash that will soon start clogging our unlimited mailboxes. I got Gmail in 2005 and I've already used up 22% and I delete unnecessary emails. So considering I will want to be checking email for the rest of my life, I am running out of space. Yes, Google says the space is increasing, but the rate sure is slowing down. One day Deepak asked me why I prefer Googleware to normal software...why do I have to type out a word document on Google docs or maintain an online notebook on Google Notebook. But it is not just a Google fetish. It just seems clean. There is just ONE copy of that document. Imagine mailing myself the notebook everyday before leaving for work and updating it. That would be outdated even for folks who still use My Briefcase. That one copy stays and changes on a need basis and even though formatting is a clown, it serves some basic purpose. It is almost like the choked arteries of the internet are getting cleared. Soon there is going to be a need to reduce creating trash in the online world and Google is leading the way.
Even with Google Wave, everything is under one tab. Yes, it leads to more communication, but they are building responsible and efficient systems around communication.
In my need to be more green, I quit using paper around the time I finished studying. I tried to email everything that otherwise would get printed, used Notepad to make rough notes, used my PDA's drawing tool to make sketches of ideas and managed to get through without using much stationery.
Now giving up stationery is easy. But as a geek, not buying the latest computer is hard. My computer ran ok. It was too slow for my liking and the wide screen glossy models would call out to me everytime I crossed a computer shop. Some manufacturers have to add an 8% tax on the price of an electronic item because they cannot be recycled and lead to e-waste. Physically this electronic waste adds up to so much junk that would be better off filling landfills. But instead, they circulate back into our lives through the air and water because some unknowing lad in a shanty is boiling the plastic to get to the copper wiring and ends up with lead fumes from the paint lining his lungs.
So I thought about what I could do about the one slow computer, one broken computer and one out of date PDA. I installed ubuntu on the slow one, use the broken one as a stand-by because it has lots of licensed marketing software and the PDA is linked to my wi-fi so I don't have to boot everytime I need to check mail.
Which is when I started thinking about the non-immediate e-trash that will soon start clogging our unlimited mailboxes. I got Gmail in 2005 and I've already used up 22% and I delete unnecessary emails. So considering I will want to be checking email for the rest of my life, I am running out of space. Yes, Google says the space is increasing, but the rate sure is slowing down. One day Deepak asked me why I prefer Googleware to normal software...why do I have to type out a word document on Google docs or maintain an online notebook on Google Notebook. But it is not just a Google fetish. It just seems clean. There is just ONE copy of that document. Imagine mailing myself the notebook everyday before leaving for work and updating it. That would be outdated even for folks who still use My Briefcase. That one copy stays and changes on a need basis and even though formatting is a clown, it serves some basic purpose. It is almost like the choked arteries of the internet are getting cleared. Soon there is going to be a need to reduce creating trash in the online world and Google is leading the way.
Even with Google Wave, everything is under one tab. Yes, it leads to more communication, but they are building responsible and efficient systems around communication.
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